I just want to know that i make a difference, even in some small way, in the world, that i am not just performing the motions, not being someones doll, with plastic smiles and programmed happiness....
I feel like i am not really here...i am just watching my life in a third person view...as though i am watching a silent film that never ends...sometimes when I sit and think my mind just goes blank...like I have been paused and there is nothing..no noise...no movement, just me sitting there with the world constantly spinning around me....I don't remember what my last thought was or even how I got where I am..all I know is that I am there, still sitting in my chair, so small in such a big world. When I stand up I feel as though I am a mere few inches from the ground and that I will soon topple from my precarious pedestal, shattering into millions of tiny pieces to be carried away by the wind..unnoticed by anyone as my fragments catch in their hair or land beneath their shoes.....
I feel like i am not really here...i am just watching my life in a third person view...as though i am watching a silent film that never ends...sometimes when I sit and think my mind just goes blank...like I have been paused and there is nothing..no noise...no movement, just me sitting there with the world constantly spinning around me....I don't remember what my last thought was or even how I got where I am..all I know is that I am there, still sitting in my chair, so small in such a big world. When I stand up I feel as though I am a mere few inches from the ground and that I will soon topple from my precarious pedestal, shattering into millions of tiny pieces to be carried away by the wind..unnoticed by anyone as my fragments catch in their hair or land beneath their shoes.....
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